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I sat down with not the slightest idea of how I wanted to say what has been eating at me the past few days...eh, months actually. I just knew I wanted to publish a post tonight and mostly for my own benefit of feeling better after getting it all out. I wrote a few sentences, backspaced a several times, deleted full paragraphs, rewrote what I started in the first place, and then finally decided here goes nothing...

family, you know, those loving, caring, people who are suppose to be there for you no matter what, to support you, to love you...to want to know how your 4 1/2 month old beautiful baby girl is doing! I could go on and on about what they are suppose to be...

I'm not pointing fingers (or elbows) or calling names by any means. All I can say is if you feel somewhat guilty while reading this, then I'm probably talking about you. ;)

Family is a huge deal to me. So huge that I feel like I always go out on a limb to try to get everyone together or make everyone else happy. I'm going to just cut to the chase here and say that it irritates the hell out of me when someone uses petty excuses that they are just "too busy" to call because they've worked all day, did this/did that, and coming up with everything they can blame it on as to why they haven't answered the phone or called you back in weeks sometimes months.
If it meant anything to them, they could spare a few minutes just to say "hey, how are you" I've just never understood the excuses (especially from close family) because to me, even it I knew I could only talk a few minutes, I'd take advantage of it.
I'm pretty sure the next time we talk or hear from someone who says "we miss yall" and "it seems like forever since we've talked" I will explode and just let the shit hit the fan. seriously. There are a few people that we go such a long time from talking to that it seems like forever. We know have a daughter that most of our family has never even seen (beside photos) and none of them seem to even care to give a call to check on her, or us. If it weren't for me sending pictures or updates on her growth and milestones, they would have NO CLUE how she is. I'm not talking about your brother's friend's sister's boyfriend. I'm talking about your own father, sister, mother, grandparent. Uhm, maybe that's why it's such a big deal to me at this point. Maybe it's the thought of my daughter missing out on the love and support of having one of those in her life. One of those who COULD be a part of her life but choose not to be...or not to be so much. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought that one of the things a parent looks forward to the most in getting older is being a grandparent. You know, so they can spoil your child, give them chocolate to get hyper and then send them back home with you! ((I think I know a few who didn't get that memo))

Maybe I'm being a little dramatic but this topic gets under my skin real bad and I've always pushed it under the rug. until now...

and I dare anyone who read this and tries to say "the phone works both ways, etc" because I'll download and highlight every call made on our billing statements to prove that you were just "too busy" to answer your phone!! and if it has been within the past few months, it's because I've gave up and come to terms with, if you want to talk to us, you'll call.

I'm not a Momma's girl or a Daddy's girl, (whole different subject & blog post for that matter) but I do talk to my mom every.single.day. really, I do. If I were to go without talking to my mom at least once a day, I'd probably think something was wrong with her. haha Not that we always have something to talk about everyday, it's just that "momma's gotta call and see what you're doing" thing. You know what I mean...when I was 16, yeah it was annoying, but now it's nice to talk to her. Especially being 12 hours away. I love that she asks me 10 times a day how Abigail is doing, and when are we coming back home to visit. I love that she wants me to send her pictures and videos.

If you made it this far, good for you :) but believe me, I wouldn't blame you for stopping at the second paragraph. This post wasn't for your enjoyment to read, it was for me to escape for a few minutes and vent. just let it all out. and to not give two cents about who is reading it or what they think! I do however appreciate your time and patience if you read anyways!

Now, I am going to make my way up the stairs, crawl into the nice warm bed and cuddle up next to my amazing husband and Marine! Thank you, Justin, for everything you do for our family and thank you for serving our country and being proud to do so!
Happy Veteran's Day everyone! We are the LAND OF THE FREE BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE ♥